This is an essay that was created for the “Interrogating Feminism(s)” session of the Feminism x EAP slow conference, 9th – 15th May 2024.
What does it mean to be a feminist educator when our lives are immersed in data? This is the broad question I am interested in, and I want to share with you today some of the ways in which I am trying to approach it. I’m going to use the work of Donna Haraway and Suzanne Damarin, and set that against my own experience and embodied knowledge. My goal just for this presentation, is to answer Damarin’s titular question – as a postmodern teacher, would you rather be a cyborg or a goddess? Let’s start first by arriving at an understanding of this cyborg. Who is she? And from there, I want to move on to a little story that makes me ask the question – who am I? Finally, I want to ask you – who do you want to be? Because if we want to show up in our classrooms as feminist educators, this is the sort of thing we should be thinking about, especially when there is so much that seems to be beyond our control.
Technology has been a focus of feminist interrogation for decades, seen most evocatively and radically in Donna Haraway’s “A Cyborg Manifesto”, written in 1985, where she stated that
“By the late twentieth century, our time, a mythic time, we are all chimeras, theorized and fabricated hybrids of machine and organism; in short, we are cyborgs.”
In this essay, she exhorts socialist feminists to think outside of the usual ideological binaries and frameworks when considering how they might resist patriarchal technological impositions and structures. She rejects the idea that we should always see technology as masculine and destructive, and that there should always be a distinct barrier between the feminine/natural on the one hand, and the masculine/technical on the other. Arguing for a feminist politics beyond identity, she looks to science fiction for inspiration and births the cyborg that is hybrid in every way.
Such a radical idea has been inspiring to some and the focus of critique for others. In “The Artificial Paradise: Science Fiction and American Reality”, Sharona Ben-tov points out that while “Haraway has tried to turn technology’s mythic project into feminism’s mythic project”, the ideology that forms the basis of her imagining is fundamentally dualistic. Significantly, while Haraway makes mention of “unnatural cyborg women making chips in Asia and spiral dancing in Santa Rita whose constructed unities will guide effective oppositional strategies”, Ben-Tov expresses concern that the cyborg metaphor itself can become a Western imposition, subsuming two very different groups of women. I find this critique as productive as that which it critiques, because it makes me think that there is scope even in the technological present to reclaim as distinct some of the things that Haraway folded into her cyborg, and I will come to that shortly.
It’s okay if you haven’t read “A Cyborg Manifesto” by Donna Haraway. If you are interested in feminist pedagogy, you will come across it at some point. Cited in many papers, you will come to understand it sideways, through other people’s eyes. And then one day you might even read it for yourself. And it will perhaps confuse you and inspire you at the same time. As I tell my students when they are struggling with reading theory, it is confusing because at the time when theorists are writing, they are making up the words and phrases and ways of seeing that don’t exist yet. And so of course they will keep trying to come at it from different angles. If you have read Manifesto, then you, of course, know what I mean. But once you have come across it, you have to decide how it sits with you. And as an Indian woman in Singapore, I have my own friction with the notion of the cyborg, Western or otherwise, which I will try to articulate through a personal narrative in a little bit.
Critique aside, Haraway’s imagining of the cyborg certainly inspired many scholars. In the field of education, Suzanne Damarin ,in her 1994 essay on “being a teacher in a postmodern century” picks up the last line of Haraway’s essay: “…though both are caught in the spiral dance, I would rather be a cyborg than a goddess”, and turns it into a question. She asks us: “Would you rather be a cyborg or a goddess?” Damarin answers this question by pointing out the issues with both metaphors, and suggests instead that we think of new metaphors for our entanglements with technology in our work as teachers.
The age of algorithms raises specific challenges for feminist pedagogy, and I think it is worthwhile asking the question again in 2024, 30 years later.
I want to revisit this question from a different perspective. You see, I come from a culture that believes in goddesses, and while it can sometimes be a problematic culture (for eg women and girls face sexual violence and other forms of gendered oppression from the same men who carry statues of goddesses during festivals on specially made platforms), it is also a culture that holds rich resources, passed down the generations through stories, traditions, practices, literature, material objects, and many other vehicles. It is breathed into us as we grow up, both limiting us and empowering us. It is an embodied knowledge. We carry it in our bodies. And so while I understand and appreciate Damarin’s objections to the goddess metaphor (for eg she points out how it has been appropriated to construct a compliant teacher in a patriarchal system), I want to sit with it for a while and unpack it here from the perspective of my embodied cultural knowledge. I will try to do this by telling you a story.
*****
My whole body is vibrating with relief and excitement. We have a rare 4-day weekend! Well, no one thinks of it as such because it is Week 10 of the semester. This is when things are heating up. It is an extremely stressful time. For the students, because it is the time when they start catching up to all the assignments that are due at the end of the semester (just 3 weeks away). For the faculty, because we still have things to teach them, and we know they are stressed out, but we are still grading their earlier assignments and trying to release some of their grades to them. They need to know how they are doing on the course, for sure. But there is another, more insidious, reason. This is the time of the semester when the anonymous online student feedback exercise is launched. Students are asked whether they think we are effective teachers. Whether we have advanced their thinking, whether we have provided timely feedback. By week 10, we might be behind on our grading. “She didn’t return our work”, we are terrified they will say. It matters because the feedback scores determine our pay and promotions. These 20-year-olds have the power to decide how soon I hit my retirement fund target. Whether at the end of my contract it will be renewed. Week 10 is simply awful.
I suppose the university knows this, and their solution is to mandate an extra holiday. A day of no classes. It is a day explicitly set aside for the “wellbeing” of the university community. They have kindly set it on a Thursday just before a Friday public holiday. Hence the 4-day weekend. But everyone needs it to catch up on their work. I am no exception. But – I cleverly decide – I will make it a pleasant work-holiday. I will check into a local hotel with a pool and a room with a view of the ocean. If I do have to grade essays and upload a recorded lecture to replace the cancelled Thursday class, I will do so in COMFORT.
My room is bare of any luxuries. But there is a bed, a desk, a bathroom, a gorgeous view of the ocean, and, most important of all, free wifi! My working holiday is all set to start. I have no doubt at all that it will be wonderful. After all, I have come prepared with all my technological body parts. I am confident in my cyborg identity. I might be 54 years old, but look how well I have learned all this new technology that has been thrust at me!
My laptop – of course. That I cannot go anywhere without it means that it might as well as attached to my body. It needs to be fed – my laptop is not self-sustaining. So it needs a charger. I have a lecture to record. My voice needs to be rendered in a form that can carry well through the machinations of hardware and software and platform and gadget and my students’ ears. So I need a headset with a good microphone. Is my Cyborgification complete? It is not. What use is the laptop without the smartphone, through which I am granted access to the university’s virtual learning environment? That device needs to be fed too and so it has its own charger. Surely NOW I am ready – this part woman, part machine.
But no. Somewhere after the death of my mother last year, bowed down by grief (does a cyborg feel grief?) I have been diagnosed with sleep apnea. And so going on this working holiday means also carrying the means by which I will breathe at night while I sleep – my CPAP machine. So I pack that. It is not just one item. There is the machine itself, the hose that connects to it, the mask that connects to the hose, and the headgear that connects to the mask. It is a funny thing – with age, some machines are more difficult to merge with, but some are unavoidable and seem to attach themselves to us.
So this Cyborg was ready. She was the perfect worker. On a holiday, she was not only working, but also obeying the institutional injunction (shored up by many emails) to engage in acts of self-care. She was going to work, but in a hotel room with a view of the sea.
Lunch was first. In a beautiful restaurant atop the hotel, with a 270-degree view of the sea through picture glass windows. A cocktail, followed by a beautifully plated salmon, finished with a complimentary dessert sampler. How I was pampering myself on this mandated day of wellbeing. Too hot to sit by the pool right now. I would pop up to the room, record and upload the lecture my students were eagerly waiting for so that they could complete their assignment that was due the following week, and then head back down to the infinity pool to enjoy a well-earned swim in the glow of the setting sun. View of the sea and everything.
Except that that is not what happened. I opened my laptop, and tried to connect to the hotel wifi. It would not connect. No matter. “I am a confident cyborg,” I thought. And tried connecting again. And again. And again. And again and again and again… All my plans for a wellness working weekend would go down the toilet if I could not do this basic thing. Because I needed to be able to connect to Canvas – the virtual learning platform my university uses. That was where my students’ papers were for me to grade online. That was where I needed to upload the recorded lecture. I also needed to be able to open zoom – the web-conferencing platform that I use to record lectures because it automatically compresses the videos for easy upload. I was ready to do all this. But none of it could happen without wifi. No go. Still no connection.
What were my options? Well primarily, I could toss the whole hotel stay and just go home. It would take – what – 30 minutes? And I would be able to do everything beautifully. BUT THAT WAS NOT THE PLAN. I would have to forfeit the money, which was not a small sum. More importantly, I would be admitting defeat. What kind of a useless cyborg would I be?
Aha! I had thought of a workaround. I would record the video offline, using PowerPoint, and then speak to the hotel about their wifi. So I recorded the whole lecture. I quite enjoyed the experience. The updated interface was really quite lovely. The video was taking so long to export that I decided to head out for dinner and a walk, feeling quite proud of myself. I stopped by the hotel front desk and they gave me an alternate wifi login code. With that in my pocket, I strolled quite jauntily to dinner and back.
To my horror when I got back, the PowerPoint video had hung, and there was no saved version. I had to record the lecture all over again. By this time I was so distressed at not being able to solve the problem myself that I was in tears. It was dark outside now. There was no seaview to comfort me. My students had been promised a video and did not get one. What kind of feedback would they give me?
Finally I reached out to a colleague – a young man who had been my student 10 years before when I had been a graduate teaching assistant, and who is now an instructor in the department. Through a WhatsApp video call during which I focused my smartphone camera on my laptop screen, he identified the problem – a program installed by the university on our laptops that had a strong firewall which blocked the connection to the hotel wifi. He walked me through uninstalling it. After I got off the phone with him, I cried even more. I managed to get all my work done but I was undone. What kind of a useless cyborg was I?
*****
The point of this narrative is not to describe what is at one level first-world problems. In fact it was a problem that had some easy solutions. But I want to examine my distress and unpack it, because I think it was rooted in my need to perform a cyborg confidence, to be a good worker, to BE WELL in my chosen place of self-care. But what it shows is that I had internalized a cyborg aesthetic without the politics that Haraway posited would be so liberating. Where was the boundary-crossing? Where was the resistance?
Perhaps, after all, the cyborg does not resonate with me. According to Damarin, Haraway’s cyborg “seeks sites for resistance to the naturalizing of machines and the mechanization of culture”, and she provides some examples of what “cyborgian teachers” might do. They look nothing like the sobbing mess who struggled with her own digital incompetence. With her shame.
As I reflect on how I felt that day, I find myself going back to Damarin’s question – would I rather be a cyborg or a goddess? I suppose we can all be many things, and all metaphors have their limits as well as their possibilities. But I think it matters which goddess it is.
Sarasvati namastubyam varade kamarupini
Vidyarambham karisyami siddhirbhavatume sada
“I salute Goddess Saraswathi who grants blessings and takes forms that she wants
I am starting my education. Please always let me succeed in this, my venture.”
The Saraswati Stotram is a prayer invoking the Goddess Saraswathi, who represents education, creativity and music. As a child I was taught to recite this prayer before going to school. I was also taught never to step on paper, because it was a symbol of knowledge and therefore connected to Saraswathi. To this day, though I no longer actively engage in religious practices, my tongue remembers the prayer and my feet avoid stepping even on a scrap of newspaper on the pavement. The name Saraswati stems from the Sanskrit root “saras,” which means “that which is fluid.” She is known to bring order out of chaos and has a calming and centering personality. She is depicted playing the veena, a string instrument, and in one of her four hands, she holds a palm leaf, which is a symbol of her knowledge.
I spent hours during long religious ceremonies staring at statues and paintings of this Goddess of knowledge and learning. In my body is a deep understanding of symbolism, but also of technologies of learning. What is the difference between her veena and my laptop? Between her palm leaf and my smartphone? I don’t want to engage in facile comparisons, but I am looking for the sites of resistance. Why should I, who hold this deep knowledge in my body, feel shame when faced with a technology I cannot master? What does it even mean to master a technology that is an assemblage – of hardware, software, IT policy, firewalls, wifi, deadlines, expectations, institutionally mandated wellness days? Perhaps just staying calm in the storm is resistance. Pushing away the shame. It is not mine to carry.
I have no answer for this. But I have started thinking about it. And I would like to invite you to join me. Would you rather be a cyborg or a goddess when you think about how you might relate to technology in the classroom? Or would you rather come up with another metaphor that inspires you to resist? To embrace? To engage?
References
Ben-Tov, S., & Muir, S. (1995). The artificial paradise: Science fiction and American reality. University of Michigan Press.
Damarin, S. K. (1994). Would you rather be a cyborg or a goddess? On being a teacher in a postmodern century. Feminist Teacher, 8(2), 54-60.
Haraway, D. (2010). A cyborg manifesto (1985). Cultural theory: An anthology, 454.
Comments from the conference website on this essay, which I also created in audio form here.
“I really enjoyed the audio presentation by Shobha Avadhani (and appreciated having the transcript to follow along) – Shobha has a beautiful gift of storytelling and provoking thought simultaneously. It makes me want to explore how I feel in relation to the metaphors discussed and what other metaphors I could come up with. But also perhaps how I perceive my institution positions me and how all that interacts. It will take longer than today, this week, this year… Thank you!”
“Maybe with an element of audio recording, similar to Shobha’s story telling because there is something deeply moving about hearing a story as opposed to reading it“